Tag Archives: anger

Commit.

16 Jul

Sharon, who I work with at MASA, collects these one page Business Digest faxes every single day.  Even when she’s out, we save them for her.  She will cut out her favorite quotes or information found on the one page fax and share them with others.  On Friday, July 13, she shared one with me – the portion under Development – and I’d like to share it with y’all.

Commit yourself:

  • Be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
  • Talk health, happiness, and prosperity.
  • Make all your friends feel that there is something special in them.
  • Look at the sunny side of everything.
  • Think only the best, work only for the best, and expect only the best.
  • Be as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.
  • Wear a cheerful countenance and give every living creature you meet a smile.
  • Be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, too happy to permit trouble.

Taken from Optimist International

Truth hurts.

24 Jun

I have started this post several times.  Deleting and typing…all while I’m asking, “Do I really want to be honest about my first CrossFit competition?”  The last thing I want to do is seem pitiful.  So here goes.  I am going to be totally honest and lay it all out…

Do I feel proud of myself for doing the gauntlet?  Nope.  I feel like a joke.  I look at all the pictures and get even more ticked.  I get angry; once again, for getting so out of control.  I feel like I am NEVER going to get to my goal.

I do not want people feeling sorry for me because I am fat…it is hard for people to understand when you have never struggled with weight before.  It is a challenge every single day.  It is hard.  It hurts.  It just plain sucks.  The most terrible thing is – I have no one to blame but myself.  I try hard not to hate myself and to stay positive.

Part of me wants to quit, but I know in the last 6 months – CrossFit has been one of the best things that has ever happened to me, but I can’t help but think I am not good for it…and that I will continue to try and be something I will never physically be.

I know this is raw and untypical compared to my previous posts, but it is the truth.  I have sore muscles and I am tired, but I am so emotionally and mentally spent.

Please know:  I am extremely thankful for my RRCF family.  The cheering and support means more than you will ever know.  And I am so thankful for friends and family who read these posts, keep up with me on Facebook, send me texts and call me to show their support.  I appreciate you all.  I do not take any of you for granted.

Anger. Belief. Pride.

18 Jun

What do anger, belief and pride have in common? They all belong to my emotional and mental state during this journey of weight loss.

Anger: I often have to stop myself from being angry. Anger can become a massive emotional and mental block. You are probably asking, “Why would you be angry?” Well, to answer your question, I am angry for:

  1. allowing myself to gain 70 pounds
  2. thinking it was OK to be unhealthy
  3. making myself think it was all about losing weight
  4. feeling sorry for myself

Belief: What do I believe? I believe we can all tackle this obsession with weight. We need to stop thinking, “Oh, I just want to be skinny” and transform our thinking to “I just want to be healthy and strong.” When I started CrossFit, I quickly realized that I DID NOT believe in myself, but you know what? My coaches and fellow CrossFitters believed in me. In CrossFit, you are constantly pushing yourself and breaking down those barriers of unbelief.

Pride: We all need to be proud of ourselves and our accomplishments. Please do not confuse pride with arrogance because they are different! And what am I proud of:

  1. Running a mile in 13:16 (my coach, Josh, taught me how to run)
  2. Walking up three levels of stairs without becoming winded (I sometimes run!)
  3. Biking 12 miles (wowza, right?)
  4. Swinging a 35 pound kettle bell
  5. Deadlifting 155 pounds
  6. Pull ups with just a blue band (huge deal here, people!)
  7. Doing 40 sit ups without taking a break

The list can go on and on, but I’ll stop at 7. I am far more proud of myself than angry. Sure, I have off days and feel like I am too weak to do a WOD, but I show up and get it done.

I love the way CrossFit makes me feel: strong, healthy and proud.