Tag Archives: emotions

You’re the reason I get up…

14 Jan

True or False?!?!?!

CrossFit Problems!!

 

Reason to get up

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Fletch’s Year-End Review

21 Dec

Wow, what can I say?  2012 has been an amazing year.  I hit my 30 pound lost mark, lost 4 pant sizes and so many other milestones.  It has been one year since I first stepped foot into River Region CrossFit (RRCF).  If you remember my story, I started CrossFit as an overweight couch potato weighing in over 200 pounds.  When I first contacted Josh Carter, my now coach at RRCF, I was at rock bottom and on the edge of giving up.  It is difficult not to become emotional while talking about my journey because I NEVER thought it could be done.  You can ask most anyone who has known me for a long time; I’m notorious for starting something and not finishing it:  Atkins Diet, LA Weight Loss, Planet Fitness, Jazzercise…the list goes on.

There is something about CrossFit that grabs a hold of you and doesn’t let go; well, that is if you allow it to totally consume you.  If you give it a chance and actually try – and I mean try with all your body, mind and soul – you can do it and you’ll have nothing but benefits to reap from it.  In one year, I have formed new friendships, gained confidence in myself and learned to love myself again.  For years, I disliked the person I had become:  depressed, emotional and afraid.  It took courage that sometimes…I just did not have in order to put myself together and interact with friends.  I never felt like I truly fit in – I was always the “fat” girl.  There were sometimes I didn’t go to get-together’s or parties because I felt horrible about myself:  my clothes didn’t fit right or I was just anxious to be around others.  Everything about me was out of sorts, which resulted in eating more and doing less.  When I look back at pictures, I can’t believe “that Stephanie,” the one who ate uncontrollably and had little self-worth had gotten so out of control.

Since 2006, I have let each year pass with wants and wishes of losing weight.  Each summer, I would tell myself – this is it – this time next year, I’ll be comfortable in my bathing suit.  Each year passed and more weight was packed on and before I knew it, my size 18 pants were too small.  When I contacted Josh 12 months ago, I was serious about changing my life, but there was always this voice in my head telling me, “you can’t do it – you always give up and what makes you think things will be different this time?”  River Region CrossFit is what is different this time:  the coaches, friends, atmosphere, community…that’s what is different.

Now, here I am, a CrossFitter.  I may not be the best CrossFitter and lift the most weight, but I am doing far more than I ever done.  Every single day, week, month – there’s an improvement or a new milestone.  Rikki Rogers said, “Strength doesn’t come from what you can do.  It comes from overcoming things you once thought you couldn’t.”  And for me, the year of 2012 has been about overcoming things I couldn’t before.  For 2013, I want to expand on my goals and set new personal records.

But yes, I wear crazy looking shoes and I don’t go one day without mentioning something CrossFit.  My Facebook page is filled with CrossFit this and CrossFit that.  My ears are on auto-tune…it feels like I can hear “CrossFit” from a mile away and when I hear it, my heart starts beating and my pulse speeds up.  I get super excited.  Even if it isn’t my conversation and I don’t know the people, I want to join the conversation if it’s geared around CrossFit.  Yep, you can say I’m addicted.

For me, CrossFit is more than just lifting weight.  CrossFit has been the avenue for me to find myself and learn to love myself again.  I have gained confidence and self-worth.  RRCF is true to its’ slogan – it is the baddest box in the River Region and does redefine fitness.

I have the most amazing coaches:  Joshua Carter, Wesley Hodges, Larry Geddings, Stephen Roy, Chris Bailey, Bucky Stephens and I cannot forget Mandy and Jake Baker, and Chandler Merrill.  Each and every single one of these coaches have taught me something – a technique, the need to believe in myself, commit to the movement and more.  They have seen me nervous, irritated, ticked off, upset and crying like a baby.  Not once, have they stopped believing in me.

Now to the even better stuff, my personal records and max weights!

One Rep Max:

  • November 12, 2012, Push Jerk:  105 pounds from 55 pounds on May 9, 2012
  • November 12, 2012, Deadlift:  200 pounds from 65 pounds on January 26, 2012

Personal Records:

  • November 27, 2012, Back Squat:  115 pounds from 55 pounds on February 23, 2012
  • December 15, 2012, Front Squat:  105 pounds from 75 pounds on April 17, 2012
  • Grace at 75 pounds, completed in 5 minutes and 20 seconds
  • 20 inch box jumps
  • 55 pound snatch
  • 55 pound overhead squat
  • 5k run (without stopping) in 40:13 compared to not being able to run 400 meters without stopping one year ago.
  • June 2012:  Competed in Embrace the Gauntlet, a Garage Games CrossFit Competition

Weight Lost:  33 pounds

Inches Lost:

  • Upper Arm:  2.5 inches
  • Bust:  5 inches
  • Waist:  3.7 inches
  • Hips:  5.8 inches
  • Thighs:  3 inches
  • Calves:  0.5 inches
  • Ankles:  0.5 inches

Total Lost:  21 inches

December 2012

200 pound Deadlift

200 pound Deadlift

November 2012

2011 vs 2012!!!!

2011 vs 2012!!!!

October 2012 vs October 2011

2012 5k on left vs 2011 5k on right

2012 5k on left vs 2011 5k on right

October 2012

October 2012

Barbells for Boobs, Grace scaled @ 75 pounds.  Completed in 5 min 20 sec.

Barbells for Boobs, Grace scaled @ 75 pounds. Completed in 5 min 20 sec.

July 2012

My coach, Wes, and me.20 inch box jump.

My coach, Wes, and me.
20 inch box jump.

June 2012

Clean and Jerks @ Embrace the Gauntlet

Clean and Jerks @ Embrace the Gauntlet

The video that started it all – I had to “chalk my hands” for courage to jump that 20 inch box!

Wow – times have changed…

Oh and crazy shoes, see?!?!?!

Fletch's shoes.

Fletch’s shoes.

Thank you to all my coaches, family, friends and ichalkit followers – thank you for the motivation, inspiration and encouragement.  It has been such a great year.  I can’t wait to see what great things will happen in 2013!!!

Updates…

11 Nov

…it has been awhile since I’ve posted.  My apologies.  Things have busy and I haven’t really been feeling inspired lately.  I have got to get out of this funk that I’m in.  I can’t get my mind right, which is interfering with my workouts and school.  Ugh.  One thing that is different though, which is a HUGE improvement is that I’m still showing up for the WODs.  The Stephanie in the past would have quit by now and went back to the same old crap of being lazy and eating/cooking anything her little heart desired.  Enough about all this, let’s move onto the updates.

Update 1:  Barbells for Boobs.  I was pretty nervous.  I’m not exactly sure why, but I was.  A group of ladies from work came to the box to support me, which was amazing.  🙂  I completed the 30 clean and jerks at 75 pounds in 5 minutes and 20 seconds.  I set a personal record that day and our box raised over $2,000!!!  Yippppeeee!

Barbells for Boobs at RRCF

Strong Ta-Ta’s.

Clean and Jerk at 75 Pounds

Update 2:  Halloween Bash at RRCF.  Lauren, Wes and I threw a Halloween Bash at the box.  It was a whole lotta fun.  I showed off some of my awesome dance moves, you know the MC Hammer, lawnmower, grocery cart and many others.  Ha!

Lauren as Sophia Grace, me as La Sarah and Wes as Ellen Degeneres

La Sarah and Darrell as Lil Wayne

Vic as John Cena and La Sarah

La Sarah and my Coach, Josh

Update 3:  HSPU’s reared its ugly head again.  Once again, I cried and left me feeling totally defeated.  My coach Wes gave me a much-needed “Come to Jesus Meeting.”  Grrrr.  I have decided to start with cartwheels.  Think about it:  I’ll get used to the “going down movement,” supporting my weight and overcoming my fear of being upside down.  I think it can work.

Update 4:  I bought a size medium coat.  Yeah yuh!  Last year, I was wearing an x-large and I hate to admit this, but I was still wearing my maternity pea coat.  Again, why did I let myself get that out of control?  I am so thankful for CrossFit, my coaches and my RRCF family and let’s not forget my friends and family.  All of them together help keep me motivated.  So, if you’re reading…I’m in desperate need of some inspiration and motivation.  Not physical, but mental.  Help me get out of this funk!  I need to believe in myself again.

Well, that’s about it.  Holla!

Determination.

18 Oct

My last post was about how I boo freaking hoo’ed at CrossFit on Tuesday.  Yesterday, I read some of my older posts and is unreal how a person can change in a few months.  I’ve mentioned it before and I’ll mention it again, CrossFit isn’t just about physical fitness, it is about breaking down those mental and emotional barriers to allow YOU to believe in yourself.  Little by little, I am becoming more confident in my skills.  I am believing in myself a little more each week.  It is tough, but I never expected it to be easy.

 

After my mini breakdown on Tuesday, I committed me – myself – and I to not letting it get me down.  I put behind the stares from falling on my head during HSPU’s and I showed up tonight determined to make that WOD my biatch, which I did.  Yes sir, I sure did!  And Josh Carter, if you are reading this, can we say progress?

 

Ok, so I am sure you’re wondering about tonight’s WOD, huh?

15 Clean and Jerks

Rest 1 minute

10 Clean and Jerks

Rest 1 minute

5 Clean and Jerks

Rest 1 minute

50 Deadlifts

30 lateral burpees

I was able to finish the 30 clean and jerks (at 75 pounds) in 8 minutes.  The entire WOD was completed under 20 minutes.

 

Tough.

16 Oct

Guess what?  CrossFit is tough.  Guess what, again?  Losing weight is tough.  Let’s keep this going.

Guess what, guess what, guess what???

  • Being consistent is tough
  • Making it through a WOD is tough
  • Being confident is tough
  • Believing in myself is tough
  • LIFE is tough

There’s always going to be something in life that is tough.  Does that mean you give up just because things get tough?  Nope.  Although tonight, I seriously wanted to quit on round 7.  Somehow I made it to round 10.  I was ticked – physically and emotionally spent – but made it to the last round.

 

Tonight, ugh, tonight was the first night I cried during and after a WOD in a LONG time.  It was also the first night in a long time that a “Come to Jesus Meeting” was needed.  As soon as I started crying, I was pissed.  I told myself months ago that I was done crying at CrossFit.  So of course when the tears started flowing, they flowed even harder because I was mad at myself for actually “going there” and crying.  Ugh, but whatever – it happened.

 

The only thing I can do now is suck it up and move on, show up for my WOD on Thursday and do the dang thing!

 

From Darkness to Light.

26 Sep

Wow.  The past two weeks of my life have been rough.  To put it this way, I’ve seen darkness in two different parts of my life…and…thankfully, both have ended with being able sift through the darkness to see the stars, which allow access to the light.  I have no idea why things happen the way they do.  I suppose the saying is right: sometimes you have to hit rock bottom in order to make a change.  I’ve used the saying all throughout my journey from Couch Potato to CrossFitter, but I had no idea it would also apply to relationships with those you love: family, friends, etc.

It was hard being in the darkness for even a day, but coming out of it makes you appreciate life and the people you love even more.  You start fresh and renewed ready to commit more time and love to the relationship and the strength to tackle the next problem.  I don’t believe you have to be bound by blood for a loved one to be family.  I am thankful to have great friends who I consider family and I am also thankful to have a great family – both come together to support me and my goals.

For all my family and friends, I love you all.  I appreciate your care, concern and prayers.  Please know not a day goes by that I do not think of you in some way: a memory, a song, a picture…you all live within my heart.

Hurdles.

25 Sep

I took a week off CrossFit.  It was strange not going to the box after work every Monday, Tuesday and Thursday – but it was nice to cook my son his favorite foods.  Even though my coach suggested I keep my eating clean, I didn’t.  I ate bad – real bad.  My work out struggled tonight because of it, but I hit up Publix after the WOD and bought some Paleo-friendly items for snacks and meals.

My next 5k will be here soon.  I am sort of nervous about it.  I would like to run the entire 5k without stopping, but I’m thinking that isn’t possible.  I’m trying to stay positive, but darn – running is so hard for me.  I’ve got the shin splints figured out, but now I need to master my breathing.  I breathe so hard when running that I feel embarrassed when someone runs with me.  I have been known to hold my breath while someone passes so they can’t hear my breathing…ugh.  Reading this makes me realize this yet another hurdle to jump over and conquer.  It’s going to take time, but somehow – someway – I’ll make it.

Ah, the test.

12 Sep

…looks like I’ll be put to the test in March 2013 at the 2nd Annual Gump Games.  During Embrace the Gauntlet, my mind was ripped to shreds.  I attempted to run the 5k at this year’s Gump Games.  I completed it, but felt a bit defeated.  Rich, a fellow CrossFitter at RRCF and blogger of 100 to 50 and Getting Better, has committed to compete in the Gump Games.  As much as I’m nervous and we aren’t even close to the competition, I’m hopeful that I will be stronger and not just physically, but mentally and emotionally.

 

CrossFit is more than strength.  It is a mind game.  It is similar to the mind game we play in life.  You are what YOU make it.  And guess what?  Your mind has a whole lot to do with the way YOU feel and the choices YOU make.  You can decide to stay positive and make the best of it or allow your mind to take control and throw you off your game.  Don’t let YOU get in the way of YOU.  Commit to making changes to better yourself.  It may not be CrossFit or fitness.  You may decide to make changes to better yourself in other ways like to spend more time with your family, be a more positive person or be easier on yourself.  Take the steps necessary to help build a better YOU – one that you’ll be proud of.  Forget what everyone else is thinking, doing or saying and do it for YOU!

 

This time, it’s all about you.  Make the best of it and change that MIND!

 

Change YOUR Mind.

Don’t Wake Me Up…

20 Aug

…yes, the title is the same as a Chris Brown song.  And yes, it’s a love song, but for me it applies to what my life is now.  My life feels like a dream.  So, please don’t wake me up!

Tonight was a HUGE night.  I was seriously freaking out about the WOD for tonight.  I can handle power cleans and squat cleans, but when I read 1600 meter run – I was like, oh heck no!  I was trying to stay positive.  Rich and Josh Matlock were helping me stay positive – they’re really encouraging folks.

We completed our power cleans (finally made it up to 95 pounds, woot!) and it was time to run the 1600 meters – for time.  I started running and my breathing was getting out of control, but I kept telling myself – I CAN do this and I AM NOT going to stop.  400 meters done then it was 800 meters done and I’m still running…then, the breathing was manageable.  It finally dawned on me, I really CAN do this.  I’m not going to give up and man what a feeling it will be to actually run the entire 1600 meters straight.  As I’m running, I see my other fellow CrossFitters – they are also giving it all they’ve got.  We’re cheering each other on – we can do this.  And we did.  All of us.  We ran it straight.  My time for the 1600 meters was 12:11.  I stepped into the box and my coach, Josh, was like – FLETCH, you finished????  And I just nodded and started crying.  Man, what a feeling.  One more goal – accomplished.

Why was this a huge deal?  Well, back in January after CrossFitting for one month – I attempted to run the 5k at the Gump Games.  I had terrible shin splints and spent a little extra time with my coach, Josh, trying to fix the problem.  He taught me the correct way to run, but I still wasn’t strong enough to run most of it.  As I’m crying and walking the last part of the route, I see this woman – she came to find me – and she started walking with me.  Come to find out “she” was my coach’s, Wes, mom.  She kept telling me it was great that I was attempting the 5k.  We rounded the corner and then I see Wes.  They both walked with me to the finish line.  If that isn’t encouragement, I don’t know what it is.  THIS, is what CrossFit is about.  It’s about becoming part of a family – one that wants YOU to succeed.

Here’s a photo I put together.  The left photo (taken by Rich Matlock) was taken during the last leg of the 5k at the Gump Games and the right photo was taken tonight by my hubby.

Like I said, don’t wake me up.

Changes.

19 Aug

Here it is on Sunday.  I’m cleaning, washing and folding clothes.  As I’m folding clothes, I am having to make yet another pile of clothes that I can no longer wear.  This journey I’ve been on since December has been surreal.  I walk past the mirror and have to look again…is that really me?  It is so strange…

Times like this make me want to text my coaches or call them out on Facebook.  I am unsure if they realize just how much CrossFit has changed my life.  I am finally feeling like myself again.  It has been years since I’ve been here…where I am now.  This time I am healthier and have no plans of going back to where I was before.

So if you’re reading this Josh, Wes, Mandy, Jake or Chandler…I thank you all.  I thank you for being here and believing in me when I couldn’t, pushing me beyond my comfort zone and helping me realize that I have so much more life to live.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!