Tag Archives: family

Life and Stress of a Struggling CrossFitter

7 Oct

It has been months since I’ve updated this blog and I’m still unsure if I’ll be able to keep it updated as often as before…

 

My life has changed so much this year.  In February, my life took a totally different direction.  My marriage of almost 8 years ended.  The biggest adjustment has been going about life only seeing my son every other week.  Going from seeing him every single day to seeing him for 7 days at a time and then not seeing him for 7 days has been tough.  I have cried and cried and cried and missed him so much, but having a child does not save a marriage.  Even though it has been tough, for me, it was the best decision.

 

So this is my life now.  I’m a single mother.  I work full-time.  I am 5 classes away from finally having my undergraduate degree in Marketing.  I manage the accounts at River Region CrossFit.  I feel guilty when I don’t spend every minute possible with my son.  I also feel guilty when I pick my son up from daycare, take him to the box and WOD while someone else is taking care of him.  It is hard for me to totally dedicate my mind to WODing when I feel like I should be with my son.  It’s tough.

 

Through the stress, I have tried to just get through each day.  My goals for my journey have not been lost and they are still there, but right now – I’m just trying to overcome the stress.  So much happens to your soul when you go through a divorce and all I need is support from friends and family.  I don’t need lectures or to be told what I am doing is wrong, I just need a shoulder to lean on when things get tough.  I need a listening ear when I have a bad day.  I need someone to tell me I am a great mother when I miss my son.

 

I haven’t given up on my fitness.  I haven’t given up on CrossFit.  I haven’t given up on myself.  All that being said, I do have bad days.  I have days of anxiety.  I have days of depression.  It is there and I cannot escape it, but I also have many days of happiness.  I do have someone in my life other than my son who contributes to making me feel good about myself.  Our meeting was unexpected, but I do not regret it.  The timing wasn’t the best, but again I wouldn’t change it….

 

Just a few days ago I was talking to my coach and friend, Josh, about my life.  I have confided in him along the way.  He doesn’t let me give up on myself and helps me remember to “keep things Fletch.”  I beat myself up all the time because when I am able to WOD – I’m still scaling all my WODs.  In December, it will be two years since I started the CrossFit lifestyle and I should be RXing all my WODs.  Josh reminds me that my life since February has been turned upside down and I’ll get back to where I was…it will just take time.

 

For now, I cannot make new goals.  I cannot say, “this is what I’ll do next.”  At this point, I can only deal with the current and present moments in my life and take it day by day, and remember each day is a new day.

Can you say sore!?!?!

26 Mar

Remember back in January when I posted about the Ravage?  Well, we are deep in the Ravage with just a few weeks until the end and our box is straight up Beastmode.  It is almost ridiculous.  Our coach, Josh, stopped posting the WOD‘s on RRCF’s website – with good reason.  He didn’t want to give anyone an excuse to skip the WOD based on intensity, etc.  And well, the WOD’s have been intense – but I enjoy it.  It’s progress.  Everyone is working so hard and it seems like it’s bringing our RRCF family closer together…

…and because of our “working so hard,” our bodies are so sore!  We have three back-to-back WOD’s this week due to the box closing down for spring cleaning Thursday – Sunday, and man – I may need some Epsom Salt – STAT!  Our WOD on Monday was:

21-15-9

Deadlifts

Toes to Bar

…2 minute rest…

3 rounds of 10 hang cleans and 30 sit ups

 

I completed the 21-15-9 with 135 pound deadlifts.  I still can’t get a toes to bar, but I give it all I got!  The hang cleans were only at 75 pounds, but after those deadlifts – it felt much heavier!

Tonight’s WOD was 13.3!!!  Ahhhhhh!  Wall Balls are not my thing.  I was able to get 139 wall balls out of the 150 with a 10 pound ball.  Not the best, but I’ll take it.  After all, that’s an improvement!

Keep WODing, y’all.

Thanksgiving through photos, part two.

23 Nov

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Our family blessing table cloth, established in 2003. We made updates to it this year.

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Our family.

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Our extended family.

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More extended family.

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Cousins.

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My sister, grandmother and me.

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Grandmother and my cousin, Lily.

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More of grandmother and Lily.

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Lily.

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My cousins Shannon and Charlie.

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My sister, Kari.

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Me. 🙂

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My “what I am thankful for,” 2012.

Thanksgiving through photos.

22 Nov

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My brother’s 17th birthday was also today.

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My beautiful mom.

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My brother.

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Nolan and Rocky.

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Nolan and me.

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Me on our Thanksgiving hayride.

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Nolan.

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Nolan just hanging around.

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Paw, Nolan and Grandaddy George.

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Boys will be boys….

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Nolan and Darrell.

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My sister Kari and me.

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My granny.

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HDR sunset.

From Darkness to Light.

26 Sep

Wow.  The past two weeks of my life have been rough.  To put it this way, I’ve seen darkness in two different parts of my life…and…thankfully, both have ended with being able sift through the darkness to see the stars, which allow access to the light.  I have no idea why things happen the way they do.  I suppose the saying is right: sometimes you have to hit rock bottom in order to make a change.  I’ve used the saying all throughout my journey from Couch Potato to CrossFitter, but I had no idea it would also apply to relationships with those you love: family, friends, etc.

It was hard being in the darkness for even a day, but coming out of it makes you appreciate life and the people you love even more.  You start fresh and renewed ready to commit more time and love to the relationship and the strength to tackle the next problem.  I don’t believe you have to be bound by blood for a loved one to be family.  I am thankful to have great friends who I consider family and I am also thankful to have a great family – both come together to support me and my goals.

For all my family and friends, I love you all.  I appreciate your care, concern and prayers.  Please know not a day goes by that I do not think of you in some way: a memory, a song, a picture…you all live within my heart.