Tag Archives: fear

Updates…

11 Nov

…it has been awhile since I’ve posted.  My apologies.  Things have busy and I haven’t really been feeling inspired lately.  I have got to get out of this funk that I’m in.  I can’t get my mind right, which is interfering with my workouts and school.  Ugh.  One thing that is different though, which is a HUGE improvement is that I’m still showing up for the WODs.  The Stephanie in the past would have quit by now and went back to the same old crap of being lazy and eating/cooking anything her little heart desired.  Enough about all this, let’s move onto the updates.

Update 1:  Barbells for Boobs.  I was pretty nervous.  I’m not exactly sure why, but I was.  A group of ladies from work came to the box to support me, which was amazing.  🙂  I completed the 30 clean and jerks at 75 pounds in 5 minutes and 20 seconds.  I set a personal record that day and our box raised over $2,000!!!  Yippppeeee!

Barbells for Boobs at RRCF

Strong Ta-Ta’s.

Clean and Jerk at 75 Pounds

Update 2:  Halloween Bash at RRCF.  Lauren, Wes and I threw a Halloween Bash at the box.  It was a whole lotta fun.  I showed off some of my awesome dance moves, you know the MC Hammer, lawnmower, grocery cart and many others.  Ha!

Lauren as Sophia Grace, me as La Sarah and Wes as Ellen Degeneres

La Sarah and Darrell as Lil Wayne

Vic as John Cena and La Sarah

La Sarah and my Coach, Josh

Update 3:  HSPU’s reared its ugly head again.  Once again, I cried and left me feeling totally defeated.  My coach Wes gave me a much-needed “Come to Jesus Meeting.”  Grrrr.  I have decided to start with cartwheels.  Think about it:  I’ll get used to the “going down movement,” supporting my weight and overcoming my fear of being upside down.  I think it can work.

Update 4:  I bought a size medium coat.  Yeah yuh!  Last year, I was wearing an x-large and I hate to admit this, but I was still wearing my maternity pea coat.  Again, why did I let myself get that out of control?  I am so thankful for CrossFit, my coaches and my RRCF family and let’s not forget my friends and family.  All of them together help keep me motivated.  So, if you’re reading…I’m in desperate need of some inspiration and motivation.  Not physical, but mental.  Help me get out of this funk!  I need to believe in myself again.

Well, that’s about it.  Holla!

Determination.

18 Oct

My last post was about how I boo freaking hoo’ed at CrossFit on Tuesday.  Yesterday, I read some of my older posts and is unreal how a person can change in a few months.  I’ve mentioned it before and I’ll mention it again, CrossFit isn’t just about physical fitness, it is about breaking down those mental and emotional barriers to allow YOU to believe in yourself.  Little by little, I am becoming more confident in my skills.  I am believing in myself a little more each week.  It is tough, but I never expected it to be easy.

 

After my mini breakdown on Tuesday, I committed me – myself – and I to not letting it get me down.  I put behind the stares from falling on my head during HSPU’s and I showed up tonight determined to make that WOD my biatch, which I did.  Yes sir, I sure did!  And Josh Carter, if you are reading this, can we say progress?

 

Ok, so I am sure you’re wondering about tonight’s WOD, huh?

15 Clean and Jerks

Rest 1 minute

10 Clean and Jerks

Rest 1 minute

5 Clean and Jerks

Rest 1 minute

50 Deadlifts

30 lateral burpees

I was able to finish the 30 clean and jerks (at 75 pounds) in 8 minutes.  The entire WOD was completed under 20 minutes.

 

Tough.

16 Oct

Guess what?  CrossFit is tough.  Guess what, again?  Losing weight is tough.  Let’s keep this going.

Guess what, guess what, guess what???

  • Being consistent is tough
  • Making it through a WOD is tough
  • Being confident is tough
  • Believing in myself is tough
  • LIFE is tough

There’s always going to be something in life that is tough.  Does that mean you give up just because things get tough?  Nope.  Although tonight, I seriously wanted to quit on round 7.  Somehow I made it to round 10.  I was ticked – physically and emotionally spent – but made it to the last round.

 

Tonight, ugh, tonight was the first night I cried during and after a WOD in a LONG time.  It was also the first night in a long time that a “Come to Jesus Meeting” was needed.  As soon as I started crying, I was pissed.  I told myself months ago that I was done crying at CrossFit.  So of course when the tears started flowing, they flowed even harder because I was mad at myself for actually “going there” and crying.  Ugh, but whatever – it happened.

 

The only thing I can do now is suck it up and move on, show up for my WOD on Thursday and do the dang thing!

 

Snatch It!

2 Oct

A new WOD is posted every Monday, Tuesday and Thursday of each week.  I stalk the RRCF page until the WOD is posted and sometimes I regret even looking and yesterday was definitely one of those days.  I tell myself that it is ok to check out the WOD because it will NOT be a deciding factor on whether or not I go – I decided in December 2011, when I first started CrossFit, that it would be mandatory to do the WODs.  I wasn’t just going to lay out of the workout just because I didn’t feel like it or the WOD was too hard.  I am committed to keeping this lifestyle that has totally consumed me since December.

Well, like I mentioned earlier – yesterday’s WOD was one of those “regret looking at the WOD” days.  I showed up at the box nervous.  As Josh was teaching us the technique of the snatch (with a PVC pipe), my heart was beating so fast.  I just knew that I was going to be unsuccessful and it scared the crap out of me.  One day I hope to have as much belief in myself as my coaches do in me.  It’s almost overwhelming how they know without a shadow of a doubt that if you commit and put your mind to it – you’ll succeed.

Here’s yesterday’s WOD:

WOD 10.1.12

We walk in the box after our technique lesson to actually try it with the bar.  Then, we added the weight. Again, I was super nervous.  My weight ended up being 55 pounds for the snatch and overhead squat.  I was unable to finish all three rounds, but I was able to make it to the 10 overhead squats on round three.  It felt good to as Josh put it “rip that bar off the floor” and succeed.

Here’s a video of my snatch and overhead squat:

Ah, the test.

12 Sep

…looks like I’ll be put to the test in March 2013 at the 2nd Annual Gump Games.  During Embrace the Gauntlet, my mind was ripped to shreds.  I attempted to run the 5k at this year’s Gump Games.  I completed it, but felt a bit defeated.  Rich, a fellow CrossFitter at RRCF and blogger of 100 to 50 and Getting Better, has committed to compete in the Gump Games.  As much as I’m nervous and we aren’t even close to the competition, I’m hopeful that I will be stronger and not just physically, but mentally and emotionally.

 

CrossFit is more than strength.  It is a mind game.  It is similar to the mind game we play in life.  You are what YOU make it.  And guess what?  Your mind has a whole lot to do with the way YOU feel and the choices YOU make.  You can decide to stay positive and make the best of it or allow your mind to take control and throw you off your game.  Don’t let YOU get in the way of YOU.  Commit to making changes to better yourself.  It may not be CrossFit or fitness.  You may decide to make changes to better yourself in other ways like to spend more time with your family, be a more positive person or be easier on yourself.  Take the steps necessary to help build a better YOU – one that you’ll be proud of.  Forget what everyone else is thinking, doing or saying and do it for YOU!

 

This time, it’s all about you.  Make the best of it and change that MIND!

 

Change YOUR Mind.

Commit.

16 Jul

Sharon, who I work with at MASA, collects these one page Business Digest faxes every single day.  Even when she’s out, we save them for her.  She will cut out her favorite quotes or information found on the one page fax and share them with others.  On Friday, July 13, she shared one with me – the portion under Development – and I’d like to share it with y’all.

Commit yourself:

  • Be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
  • Talk health, happiness, and prosperity.
  • Make all your friends feel that there is something special in them.
  • Look at the sunny side of everything.
  • Think only the best, work only for the best, and expect only the best.
  • Be as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.
  • Wear a cheerful countenance and give every living creature you meet a smile.
  • Be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, too happy to permit trouble.

Taken from Optimist International

Fear.

13 Jul

Last night’s WOD was prefaced with a 20 minute skill session: Hand Stand Push Ups (HSPU) and Double Unders. Let me just tell you that I’m afraid of HSPU’s and it isn’t because of the difficulty, but because I’m upside down. When I was a kid, I felt no fear except for haunted houses and rollercoasters. I rode bikes with no hands, tried rollerblading down a small hill (my best friend, Emily, had to slow me down because I was headed for a crash), riding a skateboard down hills (of course, while sitting on the skateboard), but now that I am older I can process and UNDERSTAND what happens when you fall on your head, etc.

Once again, my mind is controlling my confidence and ability…

Josh understood my panic and set me up with my own safety harness, which consisted of two of the green bands connected to the pull up bar. He demonstrated for me, but that still didn’t soothe my fear. I tried it, with Josh’s assistance, and got the initial “freaking out” behind me, but I was still scared. I attempted to “donkey kick” up without my harness and failed, but Josh assisted me once more to an actual handstand. I was able to hold it in that position, but not for long. I am unsure of what it will take to soothe my fear with HSPUs, but I’m going to try.

 

The WOD was killer, again. Surprised? Well, you shouldn’t be.

 

July 12, 2012

Every minute…on the minute…for 12 minutes…

5 Kettle Bell Power Swings (I used a 44 pound Kettle Bell)

5 Power Push Ups

10 Lunge Jumps (I ended up doing 8 squats)

 

Even the “smallest” of WODs will surprise you! I believe our entire 6:30 class (all women) were grunting to power that Kettle Bell.

Whatever it takes, right??